Dwclapp wrote:
A few problems -
1. Hackles too long
2. Head too large
3. Too much ribbing in the body (thread wraps show). How does one get it to lay flat? Untwist before wrap?
4. Too many hackles.
Not necessarily on any of those counts. If by "proper" you mean in the original North Country style, take a look at these two Partridge and Yellows from the Old (Pritt) and New (Edmonds and Lee) Testaments of that style:
(The first is a painting, the second is an actual photo, but the pdf is a bit off.)
Notice that the hackles are as long or longer than on you fly. Remember, these don't represent legs, but wings, legs and tail. Anything between about half the hook length to one and a half times the hook length is fair game, your own taste makes the final decision.
Although the particular examples shown don't have large heads, many of the older wet flies did, both because it was needed to hold the gut snell onto the hook, and because real insects have large> Many mayflies have large orange or yellow eyes, what better way to represent that? Again, it's personal taste.
Segment is good. You're not trying to get a floss-like finish.
Again, number of hackle barbs is a matter of taste. Refer again to pictures, and realize that the barbs tend to pull off of game bird hackles as they're fished. Land a few trout on that fly, and it will look like too few.
A very nice first attempt. I'd fish that fly in a minute.